Hello again

I've got some down time and thought I'd post something. Don't you know, though, just when I pull up the app my mind goes blank? Sigh...

Last night Dan and I were up late. Initially it was the whole 'why are we awake again?' situation where you're so brain numbingly exhausted you just can't think or move. We finally got ourselves up and into bed and the ceiling started leaking right next to Emma's bassinet, and right where we give her a bottle when she wakes up. It took till 2 AM to get that fixed. Then she woke up for a bottle right as I was drifting off. Bless my dear husband, he got up with her.

And then, don't you know, Em decided that today would be a 5 AM wake-up day, instead of her normal 6:30...

Let's just say that 3 hours of sleep doesn't look good on me, let me tell ya.

Right now Em is taking a nap and Lorna and I are watching YouTube. A friend of mine's kids like to watch Just Dance videos on there, and they dance along. I tried it and Lorna loves it. We've currently got the song 'I'm gonna catch you' on repeat (meaning when the song ends I have to start it over or there's a freak out).

Things are starting to look up for us. Dan finally got off probation and he's been able to get some temp work while looking for something full time. It's such a huge relief to have money coming in. He worked probably 10 hours from November to January. We only survived by having food stamps and WIC, the generous help and support of family, and by miracles from heaven.

I love when Dan has work. Even when it's the most mundane, boring thing it makes him so happy to be doing something. I love to see him that happy.

There's this horrible fallacy that 'everyone' on welfare is lazy and only looking to have everyone else do the work to support them. I can tell you first hand, this is absolutely not true. I know there are some that abuse the system, but most people are simply in difficult situations and need help getting through.

My husband played a prank on his roommate and we've paid for it for the last 4 years in so many ways. No one would hire him. When he did find jobs, the higher ups would eventually find some reason to get rid of the guy on probation. He works so hard at anything he does, but it wasn't good enough.

I thank God above for food stamps and WIC. We had enough stress and enough to worry about without having to worry about how we'd feed ourselves and our babies. And we contributed to the system before we were on it, Dan has while we've been on it, and he will continue to do so after we get off. And we are very excited to get off, believe me.

Things have been so hard. And there was a good, long stretch there when all I could feel was angry and abandoned. I couldn't see all the ways the Lord was blessing us and taking care of us. It was definitely not in the way we wanted, the way I wanted. But it was there. As soon as I opened my eyes to that I felt peace. Things were still hard. In some ways harder than they'd ever been. But I knew the Lord had a purpose for it all and He would get us through in the way that we most needed.

Emma is awake now and we've moved on to watching Trolls. My girls love music. I mean, they LOVE it. When a catchy tune comes on Lorna gets up to dance and Emma taps her foot and bobs to the beat. They're so cute. They are a constant joy to me. Even Lorna when she's warming up to her terrible twos. These beautiful little ladies are a couple of the biggest blessings of my life.

I'm living my dream, ladies and gentlemen. I am a mommy. God is good. Life is lookin up. Happy Tuesday.